Ok, we may get a little deep here.

2018 has been the worst year of my life. It has also been the best year of my life.

I made some horrible & bad decisions that affected my relationship with my fiancé, my friends & my work.

My rock bottom was being on my hands & knees outside of the gym I was working at, crying & sobbing uncontrollably, while there were 20 people & all my co-workers inside. I lost it. I couldn’t control my emotions & I felt at that moment I would never get out of the mess I had created for myself.

I proceeded to take 2 weeks off work. And then never returned.

I was lost. I was gone.

I left a workplace, that had meant so much to me, that I had dedicated my life too. Every hour & min of my day would revolve around my work. My fiancé would tell me it wasn’t healthy but I never use to listen to him. I felt like I had honestly lost a part of me.

My horrible & bad decisions led me to leave a place I loved so much, that I thought defined me.

But it didn’t.

And it was the best thing that has ever happened to me!

With great adversities, comes great hidden blessings.

After leaving my job, I had some really dark days. I didn’t know who I was. A lot of my friendships & relationships were dead. I felt completely & utterly lost in life.

I eventually started to find me again.

I started to take control of my life.

What helped was throwing myself into training, as it is my therapy. By making myself physically stronger & pretty much killing myself every session, I was prepping & making my mind strong again. After feeling so broken & lost.

Training helped me get control of my life. I had lost some of my drive for training while I was struggling & dealing with everything in my personal life & workplace.

I started to challenge myself by putting myself out there, as a good coach & PT. I know I am good at what I do. I just needed to believe in myself again & show the world.

I immersed myself in my clients & helping others. My way of giving back to the universe & those around me.

I actually discovered I can do a lot of great things. I did have support from my longtime friend (you know who are) but I managed to get through the darkest period of my life, to now living a life I love & enjoy again.

I realized that I had been held back. I wasn’t reaching my full potential. My adversity was my blessing in disguise & has led me to this point. 

Through my hard times, I discovered just how blessed I truly am.

Now gratitude is something I practise every day to remind myself how far I have come.

As soon as I wake up I like to think about 3 things I am grateful for.

I am not going to lie. This isn’t always easy. Some days I wake up & I can’t do it straight away. My mind likes to remind me of my hardships & my mistakes, and I let it.

But as long as I can take a moment when the time is right to reflect upon & find my 3 blessings each day, I know I can get through my negative mindset.

Empathy for others & Gratitude is my saving grace.

No matter my mistakes and the pain they may have caused, I have absolutely no regrets on the circumstances that have occurred throughout this year. My actions have led me to this point & will shape me for the rest of my life.